Wednesday, May 19, 2010

The Case of the Catered Lunch

Each month I go to a luncheon meeting of a professional association I belong to, and it's great.  Except the food, naturally.  You knew I was going to complain about that, right? :)  I'm sure you're familiar with the fare: a basket of bread, a tiny plate with tiny little pats of butter, a salad, a slice of cheesecake, and a dozen pieces of silverware.

Cue the chit-chat about how to remember which bread plate is yours!

I was starving, so I scarfed down that salad (no dressing thankyouverymuch) like a baseball team of teenage boys at a pizza joint.  I stopped just short of licking my plate.  But this is where my catered-lunch experience ceases to be like so many others were in that room (which would be boarding the afternoon-coma train with a stop at TransFatVille).  Instead of eating this:

Some kind of chicken wrapped around some cheese mixture, with a side of mashed potatoes
and a lonely little tomato drenched in oil. (No one ate the tomato.)

I ate this:

That's right.  TWO SALADS.  Get this - it's crazy - when the waiter comes along with the Heart Attack Special, I just say, "May I please have another dinner salad?"  He then looks at me with a look of confusion and asks, "you just want...another salad?  Like....a salad?"  Its as if everything he has ever known and believed to be true is crumbling before his eyes. And I smile and say,

"yes, that would make me the happiest person in the world." 

Sometimes I bat my eyelashes if I feel it is necessary to express just how very important this request is to me.

And then, he brings me another salad.  I eat it. We're done.

I attended a meeting where a catered lunch was served but I was able to avoid eating it.  And then when I got back to my office, I ate my real lunch.  Which was another salad, btw.

The next time you think you're stuck eating catered food, think again.  You can always pack a snack to eat on the sly or just ask for more of the rabbit food.  Hey, give 'em something to talk about back in the kitchen!

Good day!


Karen Thurston Chavez said...

By the way, those weren't mashed taters. It was a glob of gooey, sticky risotto!

Jill Marie said...

Our principal buys us lunch when we help out with the state test. This year, I helped and she seemed so put out when I refused McDonald's and Bill Miller's. Our whole teacher appreciation week was filled with food I don't eat. But that's OK. It also came with a renewed contract.