Your Gym Stalker, Reporting for Duty

Hey, guess who is 1.5% away from her body composition goal? Um, that would be ME. I can't tell you how happy I am to see my hard work pay off, and after reading this article about the growing levels of obesity in our country, I have never been so happy to be below average. I've still got work to do, but it has been nice the past few days to give myself a pat on the back for a job well done. Not only did I survive the holidays without a net gain, I exceeded my goal and increased my average loss per month. Yeah, I'm pretty stoked.

It's also an exciting time of year because it is January, and for most of us that means a new leaf, a fresh slate, and fighting New Years Resolutioners for treadmill time. You might see knowing smiles or hear some grumblings from the die-hard gym rats when all of the Resolutioners show up, especially from those of us in the "wee-hours-of-the-morning" crowd who like to lord it over everyone else about how hard-core we are. New Years Resolutioners, until they have proven themselves by continuing to show up at workouts for longer than three weeks, are unfortunately given a bad rap for clogging up the gym in January and then falling off the face of the earth soon thereafter. You'll usually see them looking puzzled while fiddling with the buttons on the elliptical and timidly jockeying for space near anything that looks like it might work their abs. And unfortunately, something usually happens - a hectic morning routine, unsupportive spouse, or just plain demotivation due to a failure to immediately look like pre-K-Fed Britney after a week in the gym - and they start finding it easier to hit snooze until they miss so many days that they just never come back.

I love these people.

Every time I meet a new fresh-faced Resolutioner, with their brand-new shoes and iPod arm bands, I am filled with hope. I immediately want to take them under my wing and help them develop habits that will yield lifelong rewards. I peer at them from behind weight machines, encourage them to lift harder and heavier, cheer them on when they're pulling out that last quarter mile, and yeah, I heckle them when they slack off. I want to call them, text them, email them, and be their healthy food cheerleader when they go to lunch with their work friends. I want to send them books and magazines and links to online articles where they can further obsess about their resolution. I guess you could say I have a slight problem with personal boundaries.

What can I say, I want everyone to live a healthier lifestyle through exercise and nutrition to the point where they have to take me aside and confide that I am kind of freaking them out. Well I'm sorry, but that is just a sacrifice I am willing to make.

So if I am talking to you, please be patient. Indulge me. And if your cell phone starts buzzing in the middle of the night, it's only me, texting you to see if you're working out in the morning.

So.....are you?