Monday, June 30, 2008

Will Fat Burners Turn Me Into a Skanky Ho?

Okay, so the supplement thing is still on my mind. I don't believe that relying on supplements to maintain a physique is smart or even really the definition of true MGP, but I accept them as a tool to use in moderation and with an educated awareness of both the risks and the fact that there are no miracle pills to erase the need for good old fashioned discipline and clean living. So I guess that answers my question from a few weeks ago on where I stand - I'm not completely adverse but I'm not putting my hopes and dreams into a bottle of magic either. I know that even if I take a supplement to give my hard work a boost, I still need to put in the hard work.

And also, I am a little afraid of where those supplements will lead me. I read a lot of fitness magazines, and I can't help notice a recurring theme - lots and lots of ads for fat burners. I read them with a skeptical eye, scanning the fine print for the disclaimer reading, "all of this is pretend and no one in their right mind should take this crap." But I don't see those words, just enthusiastic testimonials from women who claim that LipoDissolve or SuddenlyLean or MegaWattHoodiaCut changed their lives and transformed them from dumpy wallflower to...well, skanky ho. I'm serious. Open a fitness magazine and look at the ads. The women look like they just walked out the 3 am shift as a chain-smoking truck-stop stripper. Okay, that was a little mean. I just said that for a laugh. I'm sure there are plenty of perfectly nice chain-smoking truck-stop strippers just working their way through college. All I am saying is they need to have their roots touched up and maybe go a little lighter on the eyeliner.

So I wonder, will taking fat burners turn me into a skanky ho? I'm a pretty conservative gal when it comes to my personal fashion. Okay, I dress like a second-grade teacher, a point which was made abundantly clear to me when, as leaving for my sister's wedding rehearsal dinner, my brother asked me where the non-fiction section was, resulting in snorts and guffaws from my loving and supportive family. So, I don't think I could pull off low-rise jeans with high-heels or a tank top with my bra showing. It would really cramp my style, which currently has a foundation built on broken-in sneakers and a wide selection of hoodies. That's not to say I don't try to look cute, I just usually end up being more in the category of, "oh look at Heather in her grown-up clothes. Isn't that cute!"

I know that the women in the fat burner ads are showing off their bodies because they are proud of them, whether it be the hard work, genetics, fat burners, or plastic surgery that got them there. And because they are getting paid to do it. But because I am a sarcastic smart-ass, and because I am secretly jealous of their ripped abs and toned hamstrings, I judge them and say they look like hos. I'm not proud of my behavior, just justified.

I don't know what any of this means, and I don't have a witty way to end this blog posting. Just an observation - there seems to be a direct correlation between taking fat burners and looking like a skank. I haven't decided yet if that is a risk I am willing to take.


Anonymous said...

Why such a skank hater? Those skanks may be somebody’s mother. What the heck is a fat burner? It sounds scary.

H F said...

LOL, I have no defense. I am just judgmental and mean, I guess. As for what fat burners are, they're supplements that are supposed to either raise your metabolism or facilitate more efficient fat loss. I try not to ask the complicated questions. :)

EDP said...

They DO look like skanks! And aren't they usually a little bit orange? That being said, I'm almost afraid of what I might wear once I hit my target weight. :-)