I'm tired. I want ice cream.

Is life always better on the healthier side of the fence?
Source: scottchan

Even healthy folks like me sometimes crave unhealthy behaviors. Yeah, there are still times when I want to pig out on something really bad for me and not care. This week, I was checking out at the grocery store and the man in front of me had a gallon of ice cream and a bottle of Kahlua. I kinda wanted to go home with him. 


Then later, I collapsed on the couch next to my husband to fire up the season finale of Amazing Race on the DVR and confessed: I really love being fit and healthy but sometimes I miss the days when we would finish off a pizza and then have a big bowl of ice cream with lots of chocolate syrup. He laughed and commiserated. We're tired parents. We know our life is awesomer with lower body fat percentages and two beautiful kids, but all the toned hamstrings and sticky kisses in the world don't erase the fatigue that meets us at the end of maintaining all of that wonderfulness for one more day. Sometimes it seems like life was simpler when I ate first and asked questions later!


It's been a full five months (almost six!) since I've had any sweets. That's the longest I've ever gone without added sugar. I've had a few granola bars as running fuel, but I haven't had cookies, desserts, frozen yogurt, candy, chocolate, muffins, sweet breads, any of that stuff. There have been times when sugar cravings were really, really, REALLY hard to ignore. But I realized this week that the siren call of sugar is much softer than it used to be. It's a good feeling, but it also makes me wonder if I will ever have sugar again.


I really don't know. I know I won't ever expect my problems to be solved by ice cream, or expect to feel better about them as a result of eating. But will I really live the rest of my life never having a piece of chocolate? Never having a decadent dessert? I can. But do I want do? 


I kinda do. I don't need it, after all. I've never really felt better about anything after having eaten sweets. On the other hand, I do feel better about things after eating healthy food. 


I don't really have a point today, just reflections. I used to be unhealthy. Now I am on the other side. That doesn't mean I don't sometimes peek through the fence and get all nostalgic about Breyer's Mint Chocolate Chip when I am tired and worn out from trying to be super mom. But it's nice to feel less compelled to climb over.


Get out there and get healthy today, and reflect on your own journey! Have a healthy day (and don't eat the ice cream). :)